


If You Happen To Be Going Down

by Lanerose



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 07:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15577179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanerose/pseuds/Lanerose
Summary: Cycle 53 of the Stolen Century, or, that time Taako spent half a cycle dying of disease.





	If You Happen To Be Going Down

**Author's Note:**

> "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." ~ Arnold H. Glasgow

It was the middle of cycle 53, and the IPRE had landed in a world with an intense propagation rate, overrun by many things, including anthropomorphic bunnies and disease. Taako had made friends with the local lapines, who spoke a variant on the grunt-like language he had learned from the mongeese way back in cycle 1. With their assistance, he had even managed to track down the light and bring it back the day before. Despite having caught a cold on the trip, Taako was fighting through it. He and Lup had prepared a celebratory feast in honor of the crew’s decision to take the rest of the cycle to relax.

“Wow, that smells amazing,” said Lucretia as Taako and Lup carried in the last of the platters, a roast duck with all of the trimmings.

“Thank you, don’t forget to tip your waiters,” said Taako, setting the tray down with a flourish. He stood back up and winked. “And by your waiters, I mean us, of course.”

“You don’t need no tips, there, Taako,” said Merle, “except maybe for how to take better care of plants.”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, my dude,” Taako replied. “What you do with your plants is between you and your god and this guy is real good without knowing any more about it than – “

Taako trailed off, blinking.

“Than what, Taako?” Merle asked snidely.

“Than – “ Taako started, and stopped again.

“Taako?” Lup reached out and gently touched his arm. Taako dropped to the deck at the touch like a marionette whose strings had been cut. “TAAKO!”

Chaos erupted around the table as the IPRE members all rose to their feet to try and help their fallen crew member. After a moment, Davenport started to herd people back to let Merle have a closer look.

“That’s right, let the cleric through,” Merle said, grabbing Lup’s hands and gently pulling them off her brother. Merle stuck a yew leaf between his fingers and cast detect poison and disease, wincing as an unfamiliar yellow disease sigil lit upon Taako’s chest. Merle cast a quick lesser restoration, but Taako didn’t seem affected, remaining unconscious.

Merle ignored the calls of the others as he quickly cast heal, hoping the strong spell would be enough to dispel the disease. The surge of positive energy washed through Taako, who stirred, but did not awaken. Merle grabbed another yew leaf and cast detect poison and disease again. The yellow sigil was still there.

“Well,” said Merle, “shit.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m sorry,” said the tall lapine cleric who examined Taako when the others forced him off the ship and into a nearby clinic. “We have developed a vaccine for this disease and can inoculate the rest of your party, but once it has advanced to this stage, there is no way to cure it.”

“You mean he’ll – “ Lup began, but stopped. It had been a long time since Taako died in a cycle. He did it the least frequently of all of them, except perhaps Lucretia.

“How long does he….?” Magnus asked.

The cleric shook her head. “It’s a long, slow disease, but most die within six months of infection. Since there isn’t a cure, around here, most consider it a mercy to end it quickly with - ”

“No,” said Lup. She glanced at Taako, who looked back at her through tired eyes.

“Yeah, no thanks, my dude,” Taako said, squeezing Lup’s hand. “Taako’s good out here. But stick all of these suckers with the vaccine, all right?”

“Yes sir,” the cleric said.

~ ~ ~ ~

Six vaccines later, the Starblaster’s crew settled Taako into his room aboard the ship.

“It’s cool,” Taako was saying as Lup and Barry settled him in bed. “I don’t need a babysitter around for when I eventually beef it.”

“We’ll take shifts,” said Davenport sternly. “I’ll have a roster posted by morning.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The roster, which Davenport had thoughtfully labeled “Taako’s Babysitters,” was handed out to all crew members, including Taako, the following morning.

“Try this tea,” said Lup, who took the first shift and most mornings thereafter. “I was at the Piggedly Wiggedly and this dwarf said she’d heard it could help with your illness.”

Taako took a sip, and promptly choked from the rancid taste filling his mouth.

“Listen,” he said when the coughing subsided and after gulping down a glass of water that Lup had hurriedly retrieved for him, “I appreciate the thought, but no more herbal remedies for Taako.”

She had something for him to try most days, though, and he never found a way to say no to at least trying a little.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lucretia, on the other hand, brought him books. She hunted for wizard spellbooks and returns with them, sometimes two and three at a time. Taako took advantage of his time stuck mostly bed-ridden to read through them all.

“Hey, Lucretia, what’s this?” Taako said, eyeing the familiar notebook cover and even more familiar handwriting that sprawled through it.

“I…” The young human woman blushed. “Well, I went around and gathered some spells that haven’t been written down yet, and stories from this world, and just – I thought you might find it interesting. I have notebooks like this for the other worlds we’ve been on, too, if you want.”

Taako thumbed through it, admiring the detail and squinting at the spaces where Lucretia had gotten so excited that her handwriting had gone sloppy. He smiled.

“Thanks.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“So….” said Magnus during his shift one afternoon, about three months after Taako’s initial diagnosis. Beside him, the small armada of wood ducklings that he had carved for Taako during overnight shifts seemed to shine in the afternoon sunlight. Or Taako’s vision was playing tricks on him again. He’d heard it both ways.

“Fantasy Yooker?” asked Magnus.

Taako grinned. “You know it, Maggie!”

~ ~ ~ ~

Davenport’s turns watching over Taako tended to be quiet. He would talk if Taako wanted to, but he would also bring a book along, and either read to Taako if he thought Taako would enjoy it or read silently to himself. The exception was one night, about a month before the end of the cycle, when Taako spent the night struggling to breathe.  After a particularly vicious fit of coughing, Davenport helped Taako lean back onto his pillows.

“Taako,” said Davenport, stroking the elf’s hair gently, “I am going to give you an order as your Captain, all right?”

“What’s that, my man?” Taako mumbled, staring glassy-eyed up at the captain.

“If you ever feel sick again,” said Davenport, “even if you think you have something ridiculous like – I don’t know, like – “

“Like Ramon syndrome?”

“Like Ramon syndrome, then you come and tell me immediately.” Davenport stopped stroking Taako’s hair and gave his arm a little shake. “Not when you feel like it, not three days later when the cure can’t help you any more, but immediately, all right?”

Taako blinked.

“Even if I think I have scurvy?” Taako asked.

“ _Especially_ if you think you have scurvy,” said Davenport.

Taako smiled. “You got yourself a deal.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Taako didn’t make it to the end of the cycle, but he made it pretty close. In the last week before the hunger was due to arrive, Lup fell asleep watching him. Taako woke up for a moment when Barry entered, watching as Barry tucked a blanket around his sister.

“Hey,” Taako said, his voice hoarse and croaking. Barry jumped, turning around, but managed to avoid shrieking like the little girl Taako secretly thought he might be sometimes.

“Hey yourself there, Taako,” Barry replied quietly, careful not to wake Lup. He came over and rested a hand on Taako’s brow, frowning to himself as he did so. Taako felt like it was freezing, so he figured it was probably pretty hot. “You feeling any better?”

“Do me a favor?” Taako said instead of replying.

“Sure, as long as it’s not dressing the cancan in a hula skirt again. You know that just didn’t feel right.”

Taako laughed until he coughed and then coughed until he could breathe again. 

“Look after Lup for me, all right?”

“What?” Barry looked alarmed. “Taako, what are you saying? Taako!”

“You can do it, m’dude,” Taako said. His eyes fell closed. With a shallow breath, he mumbled, “S’ all right if it’s you.”

“Taako?” Lup said, awoken by Barry’s shout and holding his hand. “Taako!” 

Taako pulled his energy to his face and managed a last smile. “See you next time… Lulu…”

~ ~ ~ ~

And then he was standing on the deck of the Starblaster, just like he always was at the beginning of the cycle, for the split second before Lup tackled him to the ground in a massive hug that the rest of the crew quickly joined.

~ ~ ~ ~

Over fifty years later, Taako woke up on a ship in the middle of the night. He felt vaguely nauseous, and had a weird salt-taste in his mouth. He turned over, sure that it was nothing and intending to close his eyes and fall back asleep, until there was a twist in his gut as a memory surfaced.

Sighing, he pulled himself out of bed and walked down the hallway to the captain’s quarters. He knocked on the door, waiting patiently. After a moment, Davenport, still wiping sleep from his eyes, opened the door.

“Hey, listen, bad news,” Taako said, “I think I’ve got scurvy.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am really not fond of the title of this, so I would welcome suggestions if someone has a better one! 
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism always welcome. =D


End file.
